Alice in Blunderland: An Iridescent Dream Read online

  Produced by Annie McGuire

  ALICE IN BLUNDERLAND

  BY THE SAME AUTHOR

  A House-boat on the Styx Coffee and Repartee Mollie and the Unwiseman Worsted Man; A Musical Play for Amateurs The Enchanted Typewriter Ghosts I Have Met Mrs. Raffles Olympian Nights R. Holmes & Co. And Many Other Short Stories

  Alice in Blunderland

  An Iridescent Dream

  By

  JOHN KENDRICK BANGS

  Illustrated by

  ALBERT LEVERING

  New YorkDoubleday, Page & Company1907

  COPYRIGHT, 1906, BY THEMUNICIPAL OWNERSHIP PUBLISHING BUREAU

  COPYRIGHT, 1907, BYDOUBLEDAY, PAGE & COMPANYPUBLISHED, SEPTEMBER, 1907

  CONTENTS

  CHAPTER PAGE

  I. Off to Blunderland 3

  II. The Immovable Trolley 19

  III. The Aromatic Gas Plant 37

  IV. The City-owned Police 56

  V. The Municipaphone 73

  VI. The Department of Public Verse 92

  VII. The Municipal Ownership of Children 108

  ILLUSTRATIONS

  PAGE

  The Cheshire Cat 5

  The March Hare 6

  "'Listen here'" 7

  The municipal chewery 11

  The municipal toothery 13

  "Handing her a card" 17

  "'Put that fellow off'" 20

  "Requested the Hatter to crack a filbert for him" 24

  "'Banged into the car ahead'" 27

  The Chief Engineer 30

  "'It came to me like a flash'" 31

  "'Studying the economic theories of Dr. Wack'" 45

  "The White Knight interfered" 48

  "'In the matter of perfume it was fine'" 50

  "'Nobody could be gas-fixturated'" 51

  "Wrote on the side of a convenient gas tank" 57

  "'I'm the soundest sleeper in town'" 59

  "'Tea is served on every corner'" 64

  "'We respond immediately to the call'" 67

  "Made off with the agility of an antelope" 69

  "'You can talk all you please'" 73

  "'Fined five dollars'" 84

  "'The dictionary we are compiling'" 85

  "Alice transfixed at the phone" 86

  "'The biggest jackass from Dan to Beersheba'" 87

  "'Larger measure than was the custom'" 94

  "Greeted by the Commissioner, the Haberdasher" 99

  "'It runs this way, your honour'" 100

  "'Our thinking department'" 102

  "'When they think nobody's looking'" 116

  "'If you get into trouble, use this'" 119

  "Seizing her by the arm" 122

  "'Why--have I--I really fallen?'" 124