Coffee and Repartee Read online

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  "'ARE YOU RELATED TO GOVERNOR McKINLEY?'"]

  COFFEE AND REPARTEE

  BY

  JOHN KENDRICK BANGS

  ILLUSTRATED

  NEW YORK AND LONDON HARPER & BROTHERS PUBLISHERS

  1899

  Harper's "Black and White" Series.

  Illustrated. 32mo, Cloth, 50 cents each.

  In the Vestibule Limited. Lowell. By G. W. Curtis. By Brander Matthews. George William Curtis. ByThis Picture and That. A John White Chadwick. Comedy. By Brander Matthews. Slavery and the Slave TradeThe Decision of the Court. in Africa. By Henry M. A Comedy. By Brander Matthews. Stanley.

  A Family Canoe Trip. By Whittier: Notes of His Life Florence W. Snedeker. and of His Friendships. By Annie Fields.Three Weeks in Politics. By John Kendrick Bangs. The Japanese Bride. By Naomi Tamura.Coffee and Repartee. By John Kendrick Bangs. Giles Corey, Yeoman. By Mary E. Wilkins.Travels in America 100 Years Ago. By Thomas Twining. Seen From the Saddle. By Isa Carrington Cabell.The Work of Washington Irving. By Charles Dudley BY W. D. HOWELLS. Warner. Farces: A Letter of Introduction.--TheEdwin Booth. By Laurence Albany Depot.--The Garroters.--Five Hutton. O'Clock Tea.--The Mouse-trap.--A Likely Story.--Evening Dress.--ThePhillips Brooks. By Rev. Unexpected Guests. Arthur Brooks, D.D. A Little Swiss Sojourn.The Rivals. By Francois Coppee. My Year in a Log Cabin.

  PUBLISHED BY HARPER & BROTHERS, NEW YORK.

  Copyright, 1893, by Harper & Brothers.

  _All rights reserved._

  TO F. S. M.

  ILLUSTRATIONS

  PAGE

  "'Are you related to Governor McKinley?'" _Frontispiece_

  "Alarmed the cook" 5

  "'What are the first symptoms of insanity?'" 13

  "'Reading Webster's Dictionary'" 17

  "'I stuck to the pigs'" 23

  The conspirators 25

  "'Weren't your ears long enough?'" 33

  "'The corks popped to some purpose last night'" 37

  "'If you could spare so little as one flame'" 43

  The school-master as a cooler 47

  "'Reading the Sunday newspapers'" 51

  Bobbo 55

  Wooing the Muse 67

  "'He gave up jokes'" 71

  "'A little garden of my own, where I could raise an occasional can of tomatoes'" 75

  "'A hind-quarter of lamb gambolling about its native heath'" 77

  "'The gladsome click of the lawn-mower'" 80

  "'You don't mean to say that you write for the papers?'" 85

  "'We wooed the self-same maid'" 87

  Curing insomnia 91

  "Holding his plate up to the light" 97

  "'I believe you'd blow out the gas in your bed-room'" 101

  "'His fairy stories were told him in words of ten syllables'" 105

  "'I thought my father a mean-spirited assassin'" 109

  "'Mrs. S. brought him to the point of proposing'" 115

  "'Hoorah!' cried the Idiot, grasping Mr. Pedagog by the hand" 119

  Coffee and Repartee]