The Pursuit of the House-Boat Page 7

  VII

  THE "GEHENNA" IS CHARTERED

  It was about twenty-four hours after the events narrated in the precedingchapters that Mr. Sherlock Holmes assumed command of the _Gehenna_, whichwas nothing more nor less than the shadow of the ill-starred oceansteamship _City of Chicago_, which tried some years ago to reach Liverpoolby taking the overland route through Ireland, fortunately withoutdetriment to her passengers or crew, who had the pleasure of theexperience of shipwreck without any of the discomforts of drowning. Aswill be remembered, the obstructionist nature of the Irish soil preventedthe _City of Chicago_ from proceeding farther inland than was necessary tokeep her well balanced amidships upon a convenient and not too stony bed;and that after a brief sojourn on the rocks she was finally disposed of tothe Styx Navigation Company, under which title Charon had had himselfincorporated, is a matter of nautical history. The change of name to the_Gehenna_ was the act of Charon himself, and was prompted, no doubt, by adesire to soften the jealous prejudices of the residents of the Stygiancapital against the flourishing and ever-growing metropolis of Illinois.

  The Associated Shades had had some trouble in getting this craft. Charon,through his constant association with life on both sides of the darkriver, had gained a knowledge, more or less intimate, of modern businessmethods, and while as janitor of the club he was subject to the will ofthe House Committee, and sympathized deeply with the members of theassociation in their trouble, as president of the Styx Navigation Companyhe was bound up in certain newly attained commercial ideas which wereembarrassing to those members of the association to whose hands thechartering of a vessel had been committed.

  "See here, Charon," Sir Walter Raleigh had said, after Charon hadexpressed himself as deeply sympathetic, but unable to shave the termsupon which the vessel could be had, "you are an infernal old hypocrite.You go about wringing your hands over our misfortunes until they've got asdry and flabby as a pair of kid gloves, and yet when we ask you for a shipof suitable size and speed to go out after those pirates, you become asort of twin brother to Shylock, without his excuse. His instincts areaccidents of birth. Yours are cultivated, and you know it."

  "You are very much mistaken, Sir Walter," Charon had answered to this."You don't understand my position. It is a very hard one. As janitor ofyour club I am really prostrated over the events of the past twenty-fourhours. My occupation is gone, and my despair over your loss iscorrespondingly greater, for I have time on my hands to brood over it. Iwas hysterical as a woman yesterday afternoon--so hysterical that I camenear upsetting one of the Furies who engaged me to row her down to MadameMedusa's villa last evening; and right at the sluice of the vitriolreservoir at that."

  "'YOU ARE VERY MUCH MISTAKEN, SIR WALTER'"]

  "Then why the deuce don't you do something to help us?" pleaded Hamlet.

  "How can I do any more than I have done? I've offered you the _Gehenna_,"retorted Charon.

  "But on what terms?" expostulated Raleigh. "If we had all the wealth ofthe Indies we'd have difficulty in paying you the sums you demand."

  "But I am only president of the company," explained Charon. "I'd like, aspresident, to show you some courtesy, and I'm perfectly willing to do so;but when it comes down to giving you a vessel like that, I'm bound by myofficial oath to consider the interest of the stockholders. It isn't as itused to be when I had boats to hire in my own behalf alone. In those daysI had nobody's interest but my own to look after. Now the ships all belongto the Styx Navigation Company. Can't you see the difference?"

  "You own all the stock, don't you?" insisted Raleigh.

  "I don't know," Charon answered, blandly. "I haven't seen thetransfer-books lately."

  "But you know that you did own every share of it, and that you haven'tsold any, don't you?" put in Hamlet.

  Charon was puzzled for a moment, but shortly his face cleared, and SirWalter's heart sank, for it was evident that the old fellow could not becornered.

  "Well, it's this way, Sir Walter, and your Highness," he said, "I--I can'tsay whether any of that stock has been transferred or not. The fact is,I've been speculating a little on margin, and I've put up that stock assecurity, and, for all I know, I may have been sold out by my brokers.I've been so upset by this unfortunate occurrence that I haven't seen themarket reports for two days. Really you'll have to be content with myoffer or go without the _Gehenna_. There's too much suspicion attached tohigh corporate officials lately for me to yield a jot in the position Ihave taken. It would never do to get you all ready to start, and then havean injunction clapped on you by some unforeseen stockholder who was notsatisfied with the terms offered you; nor can I ever let it be said of methat to retain my position as janitor of your organization I sacrificed atrust committed to my charge. I'll gladly lend you my private launch,though I don't think it will aid you much, because the naphtha-tank hasexploded, and the screw slipped off and went to the bottom two weeks ago.Still, it is at your service, and I've no doubt that either Phidias orBenvenuto Cellini will carve out a paddle for you if you ask him to."

  "Bah!" retorted Raleigh. "You might as well offer us a pair of skates."

  "I would, if I thought the river'd freeze," retorted Charon, blandly.

  Raleigh and Hamlet turned away impatiently and left Charon to his owndevices, which for the time being consisted largely of winking his othereye quietly and outwardly making a great show of grief.

  "He's too canny for us, I am afraid," said Sir Walter. "We'll have to payhim his money."

  "Let us first consult Sherlock Holmes," suggested Hamlet, and this theyproceeded at once to do.

  "There is but one thing to be done," observed the astute detective afterhe had heard Sir Walter's statement of the case. "It is an old saying thatone should fight fire with fire. We must meet modern business methods withmodern commercial ideas. Charter his vessel at his own price."

  "But we'd never be able to pay," said Hamlet.

  "Ha-ha!" laughed Holmes. "It is evident that you know nothing of the lawsof trade nowadays. Don't pay!"

  "But how can we?" asked Raleigh.

  "The method is simple. You haven't anything to pay with," returned Holmes."Let him sue. Suppose he gets a verdict. You haven't anything he canattach--if you have, make it over to your wives or your fiancees."

  "Is that honest?" asked Hamlet, shaking his head doubtfully.

  "It's business," said Holmes.

  "But suppose he wants an advance payment?" queried Hamlet.

  "Give him a check drawn to his own order. He'll have to endorse it when hedeposits it, and that will make him responsible," laughed Holmes.

  "What a simple thing when you understand it!" commented Raleigh.

  "Very," said Holmes. "Business is getting by slow degrees to be an exactscience. It reminds me of the Brighton mystery, in which I played a modestpart some ten years ago, when I first took up ferreting as a profession. Iwas sitting one night in my room at one of the Brighton hotels, whichshall be nameless. I never give the name of any of the hotels at which Istop, because it might give offence to the proprietors of other hotels,with the result that my books would be excluded from sale therein. Sufficeit to say that I was spending an early summer Sunday at Brighton with myfriend Watson. We had dined well, and were enjoying our evening smoketogether upon a small balcony overlooking the water, when there came atimid knock on the door of my room.

  "'Watson,' said I, 'here comes some one for advice. Do you wish to wager asmall bottle upon it?'

  "'Yes,' he answered, with a smile. 'I am thirsty and I'd like a smallbottle; and while I do not expect to win, I'll take the bet. I should liketo know, though, how you know.'

  "'It is quite simple,' said I. 'The timidity of the knock shows that myvisitor is one of two classes of persons--an autograph-hunter or a client,one of the two. You see I give you a chance to win. It may be anautograph-hunter, but I think it is a client. If it were a creditor, hewould knock boldly, even ostentatiously; if it were the maid, she wouldnot knock at all; if it were the hall-
boy, he would not come until I hadrung five times for him. None of these things has occurred; the knock isthe half-hearted knock which betokens either that the person who knockedis in trouble, or is uncertain as to his reception. I am willing, however,considering the heat and my desire to quench my thirst, to wager that itis a client.'

  "'Done,' said Watson; and I immediately remarked, 'Come in.'

  "The door opened, and a man of about thirty-five years of age, in abathing-suit, entered the room, and I saw at a glance what had happened.

  "'Your name is Burgess,' I said. 'You came here from London this morning,expecting to return to-night. You brought no luggage with you. Afterluncheon you went in bathing. You had machine No. 35, and when you cameout of the water you found that No. 35 had disappeared, with your clothesand the silver watch your uncle gave you on the day you succeeded to hisbusiness.'

  "Of course, gentlemen," observed the detective, with a smile at Sir Walterand Hamlet--"of course the man fairly gasped, and I continued: 'You havebeen lying face downward in the sand ever since, waiting for nightfall, sothat you could come to me for assistance, not considering it good form tomake an afternoon call upon a stranger at his hotel, clad in abathing-suit. Am I correct?'

  "'Sir,' he replied, with a look of wonder, 'you have narrated my storyexactly as it happened, and I find I have made no mistake in coming toyou. Would you mind telling me what is your course of reasoning?'

  "'It is plain as day,' said I. 'I am the person with the red beard withwhom you came down third class from London this morning, and you told meyour name was Burgess and that you were a butcher. When you looked to seethe time, I remarked upon the oddness of your watch, which led to yourtelling me that it was the gift of your uncle.'

  "'True,' said Burgess, 'but I did not tell you I had no luggage.'

  "'No,' said I, 'but that you hadn't is plain; for if you had brought anyother clothing besides that you had on with you, you would have put it onto come here. That you have been robbed I deduce also from your costume.'

  "'But the number of the machine?' asked Watson.

  "'Is on the tag on the key hanging about his neck,' said I.

  "'One more question,' queried Burgess. 'How do you know I have been lyingface downward on the beach ever since?'

  "'By the sand in your eyebrows,' I replied; and Watson ordered up thesmall bottle."

  "I fail to see what it was in our conversation, however," observed Hamlet,somewhat impatient over the delay caused by the narration of this tale,"that suggested this train of thought to you."

  "The sequel will show," returned Holmes.

  "Oh, Lord!" put in Raleigh. "Can't we put off the sequel until a laterissue? Remember, Mr. Holmes, that we are constantly losing time."

  "The sequel is brief, and I can narrate it on our way to the office of theNavigation Company," observed the detective. "When the bottle came Iinvited Mr. Burgess to join us, which he did, and as the hour was latewhen we came to separate, I offered him the use of my parlor overnight.This he accepted, and we retired.

  "The next morning when I arose to dress, the mystery was cleared."

  "You had dreamed its solution?" asked Raleigh.

  "No," replied Holmes. "Burgess had disappeared with all my clothing, myfalse-beard, my suit-case, and my watch. The only thing he had left me wasthe bathing-suit and a few empty small bottles."

  "And why, may I ask," put in Hamlet, as they drew near to Charon'soffice--"why does that case remind you of business as it is conductedto-day?"

  "In this, that it is a good thing to stay out of unless you know it all,"explained Holmes. "I omitted in the case of Burgess to observe one thingabout him. Had I observed that his nose was rectilinear, incurved, andwith a lifted base, and that his auricular temporal angle was between 96and 97 degrees, I should have known at once that he was an impostor._Vide_ Ottolenghui on 'Ears and Noses I Have Met,' pp. 631-640."

  "Do you mean to say that you can tell a criminal by his ears?" demandedHamlet.

  "If he has any--yes; but I did not know that at the time of the Brightonmystery. Therefore I should have stayed out of the case. But here we are.Good-morning, Charon."

  By this time the trio had entered the private office of the president ofthe Styx Navigation Company, and in a few moments the vessel was charteredat a fabulous price.

  On the return to the wharf, Sir Walter somewhat nervously asked Holmes ifhe thought the plan they had settled upon would work.

  "Charon is a very shrewd old fellow," said he. "He may outwit us yet."

  "The chances are just two and one-eighth degrees in your favor," observedHolmes, quietly, with a glance at Raleigh's ears. "The temporal angle ofyour ears is 93-1/8 degrees, whereas Charon's stand out at 91, by myotometer. To that extent your criminal instincts are superior to his. Ifcriminology is an exact science, reasoning by your respective ears, youought to beat him out by a perceptible though possibly narrow margin."

  With which assurance Raleigh went ahead with his preparations, and withintwelve hours the _Gehenna_ was under way, carrying a full complement ofcrew and officers, with every state-room on board occupied by some spiritof the more illustrious kind.

  Even Shylock was on board, though no one knew it, for in the dead of nighthe had stolen quietly up the gang-plank and had hidden himself in an emptywater-cask in the forecastle.

  "IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT SHYLOCK HAD STOLEN UP THEGANG-PLANK"]

  "'Tisn't Venice," he said, as he sat down and breathed heavily through thebung of the barrel, "but it's musty and damp enough, and, considering thecost, I can't complain. You can't get something for nothing, even inHades."